Helloo-oh, I’m Fade. Fah-Day, not Fade, but you can pronounce it however you wish. It’s a nickname (short for one of my middle names) that no one ever calls me. Actually, put a pin in that, it’s my second nickname that no one calls me. The first is the pseudonym I used to use before it got old. That one was also a middle name. Ah, the joy of having several middle names, am I right? So now, you know a little more about me. Let’s roll through more of the basics.
I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE writing. Yes, I’m gushing now, but it needs to be stated as this is a very important fact. Next to writing, I love reading. I don’t “binge” books, I inhale them, but I know that not everyone has the time to eat words or synthesize them so I’m here to do it for you!
And that brings us to the issue at hand, those damn BLOODY ALPHABETS. Am I cursing out the English language? Yes, it’s a bloody hodgepodge of unbelievable syntax (read, read lead lead? Isn’t “building” supposed to be a verb?). Am I also praising it? Of course, English is the only language I speak/comprehend—better the enemy you sleep with than the one you lust for—and I’ve been writing it for years, cheating on English now will only harm my vitality.
Some like their English raw, some like it medium rare and some like it well-done and melty-in-their-mouths. I’m here to cater to all those needs, no matter how kinky or degenerative they end up being!
In short, this is where you come to learn how to murder the English language in all ways inhumanly possible—‘give a man a fish; teach a man to fish’. I’ll tell you how to kill it, slaughter it, brine it (and hopefully make a living off it) while tucked under a pile of books, stewing in the guilty pleasure of bleeding novels dry—because who here isn’t a bibliophile?
Hi, again. I’m Fade, and I’m about to take you on one heck of a wild ride (and hopefully one that you’ll never come to regret).
Disclaimer: While lexical murder may be sanctioned in this jurisdiction, no drugs, violence or nuclear weapons are allowed.
…A noose around my neck
splattered across the tarmac
bloody bits in bloodied sand
with bones that gleam of ivory
and jutted angles of jointed handsby Fade
IN YOUR INBOX
The new things you bring to your stories are your emotions, perspectives and opinions. When you craft characters and narratives using part of yourself, you’ve done half the job of writing a book worthy of being a bestseller, the rest is all the technical aspect.Continue Reading
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